Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
