That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
sex in a hospital.. check
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
