Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
