I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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