He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
