And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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