dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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