Screwed.edu
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
