we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
