is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize