If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize