Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
