No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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