Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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