Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
