Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
