For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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