I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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