i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
