i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Your penis caused this!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
