she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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