you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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