You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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