I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
