she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Someone signed my nipple.
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