Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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