Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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