I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
