Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
