Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
