just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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