ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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