hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
