I need help removing her.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think my moral compass just broke
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