i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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