maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
