But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I AM VODKA MAN
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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