Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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