Ketchup is God's man juice
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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