Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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