please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
