i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
