there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
