Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Me too!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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