hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
