he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
