My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you win again, gameday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
