Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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