but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
