absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
