You know, be my cock's hype man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize