Where are you?
In a non slutty way
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
