i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
