I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
operation harelip BJ is a go
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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