she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
