her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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