dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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