You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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