I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
