susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
