im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
